For a long time, I lived in the world of “what if.”
What if I had gone to a better high school.
What if I had studied harder.
What if I had gone abroad.
What if I had studied Law.
After primary school, I did well. Doors opened. I was called to reputable schools in Rift Valley—but because of post-election violence, I couldn’t go. And honestly, as a young girl who had already experienced that violence twice, I was relieved to stay away.
But here’s the truth I wrestled with for years:
With my grades, I could have gone to other good schools.
Instead, I joined a different high school with one condition; I would be transferred soon.
So, I never settled. I sat in class, but my heart wasn’t there. I waited instead of engaging.
I resisted instead of applying myself.
And slowly, the girl who had excelled began to slip.
By the time I accepted, “This is my school,” I was already in my final year.
By God’s mercy, I still made it to university. But the “what ifs” didn’t stop there.
I had an opportunity to study abroad. Admission letter ready. Everything aligned. But my parents cancelled it. Their reasoning was simple: if I was rebellious, defiant, and making poor decisions under their roof, what would happen if I was alone in another country?
Then came another blow; my desire to study Law was denied. My father questioned the values of the profession and refused.
And just like that, a narrative formed in my mind:
If I had gone to a better school…
If I had studied abroad…
If I had pursued Law…My life would be better.
That thinking did something dangerous.
It built resentment.
It created blame.
It kept me looking backward instead of forward.
And the hardest part?
It delayed my growth.
Because you cannot build a meaningful future while mentally living in an alternative past.
At some point, I had to confront a truth that changed everything
Acceptance is not defeat. It is alignment.
Acceptance does not mean everything that happened was ideal.
It means you choose to work with what God has allowed.
I began to ask a different question; not “What did I miss?”
But “What is God building through this?”
And slowly, something shifted.
I started to see that:
- God was not absent in my detours
- He was intentional in my development
- He wastes nothing
The path I resisted became the place I was formed.
The disappointments became tools.
The delays became preparation.
And today, I can say this with conviction: I am grateful for the path God allowed me to walk.
Not because it was easy. But because it was necessary.
There are many people today trapped where I once was.
Stuck in regret…
Holding onto “what if.”
Quietly blaming people, systems, or decisions.
And because of that, they are unable to move forward.
But here’s the truth:
Regret is a trap.
It keeps you emotionally anchored in a past you cannot change.
Acceptance is freedom.
It releases you to build with what you have.
God does not build your life from ideal conditions.
He builds it from surrendered ones.
He takes what you call mistakes, missed opportunities, and closed doors, and uses them to shape the person you are becoming.
But that only happens when you stop resisting and start accepting.
If you are in that place today,
Where you feel like life should have turned out differently
Where you replay decisions
Where you feel behind
I want you to hear this clearly:
You are not behind. You are being built.
But growth begins where resistance ends.
Accept what you cannot change.
Reflect on what you can learn.
Take responsibility for what is yours.
And move forward with what God has given you.
Because your life is not defined by what didn’t happen.
What if will never change your life.
It will keep you thinking, replaying, wishing; but never moving.
There is there is a way that appears to be, comfortable, logical, familiar but its end is destruction.
So stop choosing what feels easy.
Stop following what makes sense to you alone.
Choose God.
Because purpose is not found in convenience. It is revealed in obedience.
What is in your hands right now your current reality, your present moment that is where your life is being shaped.
Not in what could have been. But in what you choose to do next.
So decide.
Will you stay in regret, or will you step into alignment?
Let go of what if. It has no future.
Face what is.
That is where God meets you.
That is where direction comes.
That is where your life begins to rise.
Choose the path God is calling you to even when it is uncomfortable even when it stretches you
Because that path is the one that leads to a good end.
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